mi cielito

I usually miss speaking in Spanish when I'm home in the US. On one hand, when I'm speaking exclusively in English I tend to realize how many words and phrases I've forgotten, and on the other hand, my brain tends to go straight to Spanish phrases that I awkwardly translate literally (leading to things like "I was preoccupied" instead of "I was worried"). So sometimes my English can come out sounding weird, and I stutter over words that under "normal" circumstances I would be able to remember, making me want to go back to speaking a foreign language with an accent that's confusing for strangers.

But the real reason why I miss Spanish is because there are so many delightful words. And by that, I really mean- I love the diminutive.  This is a big deal for me to admit it, because at first, I thought it was babyish and slightly patronizing. I mean, do you really need to call agua- water- aguita? Who says "little water"? ¿Quieres un cafecito?  Really?  Do I want a "little coffee"?  No!  I want a normal cup of coffee with a normal cookie on the side, not a galletita! 

But slowly, the -itos, -itas, -citos and -citas have grown on me. I think with more experience speaking Spanish I've realized that it's really just a sign of affection and comfort- cariñito. I now say it with full pleasure- I'd much rather announce that I'm going to head to my bed by saying "Ya voy a la camita" instead of "Ya voy a la cama"- that just sounds abrupt, harsh, and like there's nothing warm and comfy about it. Still, there are unspoken rules about what can be diminutized. Water- aguita; coffee- cafecito; hot chocolate- chocolatito; and juice- juguito are all OK. Milk- leche- is not.  I would never refer to my couch- el sillon- as el silloncito, yet my Nanny-knitted blanket is always referred to as la mantita and not la manta. Most of my shoes are just called normal zapatos, but I refer my new boots that I especially like as las botitas- las botas just doesn't seem to express how exciting it is to wear them!  I refer to my kitchen plants as las plantitas because I like to think that with a little cariñito and TLC they'll grow faster. I guess it just works for things that are special, warming and comfy, or actually are little, as in "el gatito" for the little cat or "hornito" for my little (toaster) oven.

This use of the diminutive transfers directly to another part of Spanish that I've grown to like, which is the use of terms of affection towards pretty much ANYONE, by strangers. Today I went to the Chilean Consulate for some tax issues there, and the secretary there was a fantastic example. She called me "mi amorcito" (my little love), mi vida (my life), and mi cielito (my little heaven)- all very common terms of endearment in Spanish. This is fairly normal and acceptable- I'm younger than she is, and rather than trying to make me feel like an incapable baby (which is how I would feel if any secretary in the US addressed me that way), she was just trying to be nice and polite. By calling me the more formal señorita she would be distancing me with her formality, but by calling me mi querida- my dear- she's establishing a friendly relationship.  (There is a caveat here though- if a male secretary were to do the same thing, probably with the same innocent intentions, I would still feel like he was treating me in a sexist, paternalistic way. I'd rather that he recognized the unequal power balance and refrained from calling me that way, even though I know men usually don't mean to belittle me in a sexist way.)  The funny thing is that this (middle aged) secretary referred to this older woman in the same way! THAT I definitely can't imagine- a younger woman referring to an older woman as "my dear" or "my love" (even though the literal translation is something we would never say in English).

My last exception is something that, although I've adjusted, still always strikes me as funny. Adults commonly refer to their parents (in person, and with others) as "mami" or "papi", which translates probably exactly as you're thinking right now.  My taxi driver was on the phone this morning, and was talking about hosting a birthday party for "mi papi". I suppose that in English it's not uncommon for adults to call their parents Mommy or Daddy when addressing them directly, but I can't imagine anyone talking about rushing home for a birthday party for their mommy.  Oh, Spanish!